Pervert Attackcat
by DarkestCornerOfMyMind
Summary: Hibari gives Tsuna a gift. Tsuna's happy, Gokudera and Ryohei are surprised, Hibari and Chrome are walked in on, and Mukuro gets hurt. Slight onesided 2718, 1896, onesided 6927, implied 8059. Deleted chapter from "Memories Never Fade"


A short oneshot I had amused myself with. This was supposed to be a chapter of _Memories Never Fade_, but I decided against it. Although Tsuna will have a cat.

So Tsuna will be a little OOC (and so will Mukuro).

* * *

"Here, kitty kitty," cooed Tsuna, scooping up a black cat with blue eyes in to his arms. He stroked its fur and kissed it gently on the nose.

As you could tell, Tsuna was a cat person. Thanks to that dog that constantly chased him around when he was younger.

That was probably why Gokudera chose a cat to be his box weapon (and hey, Tsuna had a lion. That's still a cat!).

Speaking of which, Gokudera and Ryohei were also in Tsuna's office. They had been partnered up on a mission, and had only returned fifteen minutes ago. And five minutes ago they had handed in their report.

And Tsuna had gotten distracted by his cat four minutes and fifty-five seconds ago.

"Is that your cat, Juudaime?" Gokudera asked curiously.

"Yeah! I got him when you guys were gone," Tsuna replied cheerily and cuddled his cat to his chest. "Isn't he cute?"

"TO THE EXTREME!!" roared Ryohei. "Who gave him to you?"

Tsuna uncovered his precious cat's ears and said, in a rather dreamy tone, "Kyouya."

"What?!"

"WHAT!? (TO THE EXTREME!!!)"

"… What?" asked Tsuna confusedly.

"Juudaime… that guy actually GAVE you something?!" Gokudera exclaimed. Tsuna looked offended.

"What? Kyouya can be generous with giving things!"

"Yeah, when it comes to injuries," muttered Ryohei, rubbing an old bruise on his arm.

One that he had gotten when Hibari had thrown him off _his_ roof of _his_Namimori.

"Sorry Juudaime, it's just a surprise that that guy can be… well, nice."

Tsuna turned sheepish. "Actually he gave it to me because he said it was the runt of a litter of kittens he had gotten from his own cat."

"Oh, that's more like it," Gokudera nodded. Tsuna looked offended again.

Ryohei asked, "So what are you going to name him?"

"Tobikuma," Tsuna stroked the cat's head. "Tobi for short."

Gokudera looked thoughtful. "Doesn't that mean 'flying cloud'?"

"Well yeah, since Kyouya gave him to me after all," Tsuna said happily. Tobi purred.

"Can he do any tricks TO THE EXTREME?!"

"Lawn-head idiot! How can that be possible?! It's not a dog!"

"Who said, Octopus-head?! Cats can catch mice!"

"That's NORMAL, you stupid boxing maniac!"

"WHAT WAS THAT?!?!"

"Hayato! Ryohei!" barked Tsuna. Both stopped. Tsuna smiled sweetly. "Do you remember that last guy who destroyed my office…?"

Gokudera gulped. "Wasn't he the guy who got his… uh, I mean, became a transvestite?"

"That's him~!" Tsuna's smile turned sinister.

"Uhhh, so can he do tricks?" Ryohei changed the subject.

"Actually, Kyouya did train him to do something useful for me," Tsuna grinned.

"Like what, Juudaime?"

"Just watch, don't interfere, and don't be disgusted," Tsuna ordered, directing them to sit in chairs. He turned around and called, "Mukuro?"

"Kufufu…"

A thick haze spread through the room, and then solidified to form the shape of a man.

"What can I do for you, my sweet Tsunayoshi?" Rokudo Mukuro smirked, and moved closer with smooth, fluid steps.

Tobi hissed.

"Mukuro," Tsuna's tone turned low and seductive. "Can I kiss you?"

Gokudera and Ryohei made gagging noises.

A fine eyebrow arched. "You may, Tsunayoshi," Mukuro purred. "But in front of these others?"

"They won't care," Tsuna set Tobi up on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around Mukuro's shoulders. Mukuro smirked again.

"If you say so," he murmured and bent his head. Gokudera and Ryohei leapt up…

"ARRRGH!!"

Mukuro leapt back and wrenched a hissing, spitting cat from his face. Tobi snarled and lashed out with his claws, causing Mukuro to yelp and drop him.

Tsuna burst in to laughter and scooped Tobi up again.

"See?" Tsuna turned to grin at a very surprised Storm Guardian and Sun Guardian. "He's a pervert attacker!"

"Wow!" Ryohei stepped up and scratched Tobi behind the ears. "He is EXTREMELY useful!"

"At least I won't have to worry about Mukuro coming on to you while I'm not around," sighed Gokudera with relief. "With Hibari and Tobi here, I can relax."

"Yep! And it's not just Mukuro," Tsuna added earnestly. "Tobi'll attack anyone who is thinking perverted thoughts… and whenever Mukuro's around. I think he's inherited Kyouya's hatred."

"You mean Hibari-kun gave you that… that… thing?!" Mukuro looked furious. "And to think I gave him my Chrome!"

"He's not a 'thing'," Tsuna said indignantly. "He's a very good pervert watchdog – I mean cat!"

Tsuna paused.

"… Although, now that I think about it, that is how Takeshi got a scar."

"I like him!" Gokudera grinned and patted Tobi on the head. "Good cat!"

"What was he doing?" asked Ryohei.

"I think Tobi's 'pervert' radar just kicked in."

"Wow, who knew that he was that kind of guy?"

Both paused and turned to look at Gokudera.

"… W-WHAT?! I never - !" sputtered the Storm Guardian.

"I'm going to go thank Kyouya again," Tsuna decided and walked out.

Mukuro looked furious. "And I'm going to have a very violent talk with Hibari-kun!" he strode out after Tsuna.

Gokudera and Ryohei looked at each other, and then ran out after them.

"Wait! Juudaime, you still need to read out report!"

Needless to say, Hibari severely bit all of them to death for crowding in on him when he and Chrome were… 'busy'.

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1827 and 1896 is love XD

Sorry if the ending was a little rushed, but I hoped you enjoyed it! Review! Or else...


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